ROSETTA STONE JUMP
March 2, 2018
by Rachel Garstang Penman
A little late but you know what paperwork is like!
Our first jump report... I'll edit it before it goes to Bairstow...
Rosetta Stone Jump Report
First jump occurred at 12pm GMT to 196BC to the town of El Rashid see the creation of the Rosetta Stone.
The team was split into 3. One group to find the workshop, one group to record the surrounding area and the security team.
Team 1 proceeded happily to the workshops, but in interests of history had a wander round the market/soul/bazaar... actually no idea what it was but not the bargains to be had were fantastic! We nearly traded one of the trainees for a straw donkey but figured it was actually more expensive than the trainee so we had to keep them...sigh...it was a really good donkey!
Anyway using the baskets provided by wardrobe we joined a group of locals and managed to sneak in.
Whilst lurking in the shadows we quickly realised we were in the presence of the Pharoah's Head Priest himself directing the carvers!!
The Priest was wandering to and fro, composing his great speech. Waving his hand as he spoke he occasionally slapped another scribe as he walked past but luckily they just ducked down even further...
We translated the recording:
"Right old Ptolemy wants a bit of bigging up, plus I want a pay rise and a bloody good tomb for my retirement so you better get this right. Ptoly has been a good king, generous blah blah blah you get the idea.. what do you mean you don't..oh just reuse that bit you stick on that other pharaohs tomb...ok he's restored peace blah blah In return we Priest will build a few new temples...no idea where he thinks we are getting the money from for that flipping endeavour, a couple more celebrations and a jolly good knees up for his coronation. That should get me a few more brownie points." Blah blah blah you make up the rest....
Right now this is important it MUST be in Hieroglyphics.... (scribe mumbles) I don't know, that's your job, who wants to learn that crumbly old language nowadays, honestly it's the year of the crocodile, people have to evolve and grow not stay stuck with all those mad pictures... in fact, let's stick it in Demotic as well and then we ALL can read it, plus then i know EXACTLY what you've written and not said I've got the face like the rear end of a donkey,
**Scribe starts frantically scribbling something out..**
Scribe raises hand..."erm 'scuse me my priestlyness the Pharoah doesn't speak Demotic, reckons it's too common and backward, he likes a bit of that Greek nowadays!"
Priest "ooh he does doesn't he. Right stick the last bit in Greek...(rubs hands together excitedly and leaves muttering something about an even bigger tomb...)
So we quickly leave the building to wander back through the market. It's at this point we hear over radio a call for emergency extraction. Turns out SOMEONE in the team picked up an item of clothing a lady had dropped and helpfully returned it to her. Was a bit baffled at her joy and excitement but when begged to come back for a brew they agreed.
Daft sod didn't realise he was actually going to meet his New in laws as the giving of cloth now made them engaged!!!
So unnamed individual went into the dwelling was draped in cloths and at this point realised what was happening and legged it.
The poor family thought they were being robbed and have chase, along with their neighbours and quite possibly half the bloody street.
The rowdy bunch split up and discovered us... so a rather frantic game of hide and seek ensued all the while the security team were having a near heart attack because we couldn't get to them. Plus we were hiding under a load of baskets one of which had a crossed eyed asp in it giving me a rather funny look....
Luckily Jeff raced over, zapped the critter and we all 'casually' wandered back.
Unfortunately we were again accosted by another group of locals, a priest and a blushing donkey in a veil.
Turns out someone had mispronounced a word and the owner thought they wanted to marry the donkey. Which he was more than happy to do.
As we frantically tried to explain away the situation he offered us another donkey. Apparently it was the donkeys better looking sister (and she was crossed eyed) and would we like her. We had to tell them the security team already had several donkey wives and now couldn't afford anymore and then we legged it, followed by a rather miffed priest and a donkey in tears...
Returned safely if not a bit quickly to the pod and promptly jumped forward to the laying of the stone.
All of the hoi polloi were there including our Priest, looking incredibly smug as he explained HIS brilliant idea of having 3 languages and how the Gods would be rather impressed by the Pharoah for having such a handsome, articulate priest as he.... Looking around there was a lot of eye rolling and raised eyebrows...
The stone was raised, the Pharoah loved it, the Priest blessed it and then there was a rather large celebration which of course would have been amiss of us not to stay and enjoy..,sorry record...
Jump completed, safe arrival back in Hawking and all parasites evacuated by medical. Possibly bar one which they really wanted to keep, name him bob and put him in a jumpsuit.... Hangovers may still being nursed...