Virtual St Mary's Institute for Historical Research

Where St. Mary's Staff and Historians live virtually.

Virtual St Mary's Institute for Historical Research

Where St. Mary's Staff and Historians live virtually.

Time Police Chicken Out

by Deb Danielson

 

Well this was interesting...in a "not something you want to deal with the morning after a festival" sort of way. Especially since Dr. B was still a bit grumpy about an unexpected and still unexplained explosion. Jenny, there was a bit of a problem with the baby chicks you sent me this morning. As you can see from the picture, they had aged about a month by the time they arrived (which was minutes after you sent them over.) Some "NOT the best of the best" group of Time Police showed up shouting something about chickens being removed from their timeline and how this would impact future egg production. They marched me and the chicks (chicks don't march well...who knew?) immediately to Dr. B's office. Did I mention our dear Dr. B is still a bit out of sorts? The TP...Sigh... Where do they get these guys? I can see why they don't have them out looking for Ronan because they couldn't even keep track of 3 small, although larger than expected, chicks.One was found in in Dr. B's liquor cabinet. One was..um...perching..on his paperwork. (Hope that report wasn't important!) How can 4 TP's not keep track of 3 chicks and one slightly hungover bartender? I didn't perch on anything and they still managed to loose me! Ronan would eat them (the TP, not the chicks) for lunch. After searching for pod activity that contained trace amounts of chick poop...none to be found of course, although who could tell chick poop smell from the ever present oder of cabbage?...of course no chicken pod jumps could be found. (There were some strange colors feathers in the toilets but, as no one was willing to retrieve them and as they were covered in glitter, they were deemed irrelevant. Important "we have better things to be doing like looking for Clive Ronan" TP admins were contacted by the lesser competent TP asking that Small Animal Heads from future timelines be brought in to investigate. There was some confusion as to why the TP would want the heads of small animals from the future until some Higher Up realized which team of TP were making the request and translated. Apparently, according to Future Small Animal Heads, "chickens just do that and don't those moronic Time Police have better things to do than disturb animals and heads of animals and Animal Heads (and still hungover bartenders) with silly notions of decline of egg production in the future when the future has more than enough eggs from dodos, thank you very much and leave us the hell alone." (Current Small Animal Department take note...you carry a lot of weight in the future and you carry it well!) So the Four Stooges version of the Time Police went away with figurative egg and literal poop on their face and I was left with Dr B. I was immediately dismissed to go on my way to entertain the children with chicks from a very present timeline. I did hear him muttering something about how those chicks better not try to submit a request for an extra months wages. So Jenny, and Small Animal Department, I return some slightly older (and somewhat wiser) chicks to your loving care. Please warn the swans that these chicks have spent a morning in preschool and may know a few new tricks so best not mess with them.